pembaca berita

setelah penat aku mengarang essay
n dah penat jugak merepek kt essay tu sbb xde idea..
skang i take a break.. tp xtau plak nk buat ape.

biasenye, tym2 cmni..
tgnku mmg ligat di keyboard. berbual dihalaman maya bersama 'seorang rakan'
tp since smlm, i felt.. like something went wrong.
xtau ape.
just rase cmtu. hurm.. adakan ianya betol? atau hanya aku yg emo sorang? haha.
xtau la,malas nk pk.
dengan itu, aku menghabiskan masa dgn bermain game.
n main2 kt virtual makeover.hahaha.
berangan nk jd cantik le tu.. yela,berangan je la yg aku mampu.
muka cm tapak kuali ni.. xde maknanye nk jd cun melecun..
[mcm over sgt je perumpamaan tu]

dr kecik lg..
aku slalu berangan nk jd cantik.
selalu gak berangan nk jd pembaca berita.yela,tgk akak2 yg baca berita kt tv tu.. nmpak cm cantik je.
bile dh dtg angin berangan aku tu.. maka aku akan:
1. amek buku/majalah
2. sandar buku tu secara menegak kt mn2 dinding
3. amek kerusi dan letakkan jauh sket dr meja tu
4. ready2.. duduk tegak kt kerusi tu
5. ehem2.. 'selamat petang dan salam sejahtera.sy mas sharini dr berita tv blablabla..'
...............haaa,itu la aku.

dulu aku kagum sgt bile tgk pembaca berita
sbb aku pk, diorang hafal sume berita tu
yela,bile tgk kt tv.. xnmpak pon diorang pegang kertas
dlm ati aku.."fullamak akak ni.. power gile memory.bleh ingat sume.."

tp bile dh besa sket..
br la aku tau..yg rupenye2 ade skrin kt depan diorang tu..
dlm ati aku plak.."eleh,xde la hebat sgt memory die.baca aje.ingatkan hafal.kalo cmtu,bleh la aku pon jd cm diorang.. mcm senang je keje tu"
aku tau pasal skrin tu,bile tgk cite 'puteri impian'
haaaa... bile puteri nora (amy mastura) kne jd pembaca berita dlm cerita tu.

dlm baca2 berita ni,
ade sorang pembaca berita kt tv1 ni.. mmg aku kagum gile la..
dr aku kecik smpai la besa.. aku masih lg nmpak muka die baca berita dunia kt tv1.
name die.. 'farith ismeth' or something like dat la.. aku pon dh xbrp ingat.
huish,mmg setia la die tu.. keje ngn rtm. salut2. hehe

hurm,dah la.
ak dah xtau nk tulis ape.

gedik

gedik x? haha.
motif sbenar ak amek gamba ni,nk tunjuk inai kt jari tu,
tp malangnye xnmpak..
tp....ape plak motif aku upload gamba ni kt sinih?
haha..aku pon xtau.
ini la jadinya kalo idop dh terlalu bosan dgn bende yg same je ari2
keje byk,tp malas nk buat,blurr, xde idea.
mode raya blom abes~

if..

if i could turn back time..
i wont make u feel regret of having me as ur daughter,mama.
i wont make u sad.
i wont make u cry.
i want to make u happy, despite of all our 'difficulties' and 'the unwanted people' around..

if i could turn back time..
i wanna be me in 6years ago.
i wanna make corrections for all those mistakes.
i wanna study hard for dats the starting point for spm.. thing yg aku regret smpai skang.
so that, i wont be here.. struggling in the field that im not good at.

if i could turn back time..
i would accept the chance to go to the place,
to become as someone i wish to be.. my dream career.

if i could turn back time..
i would try my best to save my relationship.
as hard as i could.
so that i wont be suffering for years..
crying for years..
waiting for years.. for someone who dont like me.. who dont want me anymore..
wasting years of my time hoping and praying for something very impossible.

if i could turn back time..
i wont be eating too much after the break-up thing.
so that i do not need to restrain myself so hard from eating the food that i love.
so that i do not need to fight with the diseases..
so that i can live happily now, without worrying about my jeans :)

if i could turn back time..
i would accept 'ur invitation'..
so that we r not always be in the frenship like we shared today..
so that we r happier than now..
the frenship we shared since childhood wont stay the same until we die..
dats if i say yes to ur 'question' .. 2years ago.
[sorry, i was mentally unstable at dat moment]

if i could turn back time..
i wont do all those 'crazy' stuff.
it MADE me happy and even flying
yet, it MAKES me regret and feel damn guilt,now..
to myself, mama, n dat someone who is very 'clean'.

if i really could turn back time..
........ am i able to change the destiny? dats oredi written to me..
...........am i able to fly to the past and create things the way i want?
.............am i able to make everybody happy? and perfect the way i wish?

if i really really could turn back time..
huh~
i know i cant.

if i really really really could turn back time..
thanx God utk sume ujian tu.
otherwise,
aku xkan realise all the wrongdoings i did,
all the chances yg aku dh buang..
i wont meet someone who can accept n appreciate me
with all the flaws i have
n... there will be no shimuk yg tgh merepek ni.
hehehe.

journal raya

pejam..celik,
today is oredi the 4th day raya. rasa mcm kejap sgt je Ramadhan aritu.
how i miss u Ramadhan, only God knows. tp, bile aku reflect balik..
what have i done sepanjang 1month puasa aritu? layak ke ngn statement aku yg rindukan Ramadhan tu?
hurmm.. biase la manusia, bile smthing dh xde.. br terasa kehilangannye.while we have dat, xde plak kite nk appreciate ke ape..kan? kan?
ntah aku sempat lg ke x jumpe Ramadhan lg skali~huhu

nway, 1st raya aritu..
nothing much. pagi2 lg.. i prepared some food utk makan b4 g smayang raya.
tghari plak,.. br la blk kg.waaaa.. hepi2!
tp kejap je.. ptg tu,dah blk umah smula. n smpai la mlm, org xputus2 kt umah.

raya 2nd,
pg tu.. nothing much jugak.
pegi tolong jiran.. buat keje kenduri kt umah die,best jugak.. sembang ngn makcik2.heee..
mlm tu, pesta mercun! weeeeweeeee.. part paling aku suke.haha.
mcm2 style la main mercun.. abes tin2 cat dikutip, botol2 dan segalanya.sume tu digunakan sbg bahan utk 'memeriahkan' lg mercun2 kami.
at the same time.. there was a barbeque party kt umah.well,xde la party sgt.. tp,erm... ntah,xreti la nk ckp cmne.

raya 3rd,
hari ni, dikenali sbg hari menziarahi rakan2 sekolah rendah.
mcm biase, mmg muka2 sama je yg ade.. aku,suya,syera,fit.. yg laki plak, ise,kre,kiki,daot.. n yg kdg2 ade kdg2 xde.. zaim&brahim. haaa..siap ade list tu~
mula2 pegi umah syera.. pastu open haouse umah ise..
pastu.. g umah ainina.waaaaa..ni la member plg lame xjumpe.tp jumpe2 je, she's a mother now! tgh pantang anak 1st.huh! mcm xcaye je.. tp siyes la,u look so matured,kalo nk compare ngn aku la nway.hehe
then,g umah suya.
wawawawaaa.. kehidupanku arini mmg saling xtumpah mcm lori DBKL. sume bende aku sapu bersih.
gain w8,oh tidak!

raya 4th,
utk raya ni.. xade ape2 laporan lg.
yela,br je 56minit masuk ari ke-4. mendenye aku nk tulih??? hehe.

~

akhernya, aku update gak blog ni.
after dah almost sebulan aku xbuat post baru. nothing much, just malas n kind of busy with so many things.
hurm.. memandangkan this is my second last sem being in this uni,
i think i got to work harder n grasp things dat i always dreamed about..
i noe, people with little knowledge like me,..need a hard work to get it
aku nak tebus balik kekecewaan SPM dulu.tp mampu ke?aku pon xtau. with God's will,insyaAllah..

mom,
i promise u..
i wont disappoint u again, this time.
masa dpt result SPM dulu, ma slalu ckp..
"ma xkesah pon dik dpt berape..
dik dpt masuk u pon ma dh lebih dr hepi...."

mmg tu ape yg mama ckp,
tp aku tau, u r sad. u just dont wanna show it, kan?
huhu.

sorry,ma..
i was just so hepi with my life at dat tym
smpai lupe all ur hopes.
erm,