silence

lately, a silence seems to begin...

God, what does it mean?
m so afraid of silence. for it had once become the door of
my past-dark-life...
it started with a great silence, 'middled' with tears n empty hopes, and
ended with the regret over things i've done.
that's who i WAS.

but now,
the silence from other party;a better company, i hope.
does it lead me to that world, again? dont.. i beg.
ak dah x sanggup~

n this momment,
wut can i do is.. pray for the silence to end soon.
whether a good or bad exit, i will embrace it..
better still.. than living in in-between.

crap.

saje gedik nk letak gamba.bajet cun gle. mwahaha!

its bad, yet not so bad.

just a quick update,again..
bit bz with so many things going on lately..

since a few days, m not in a good health,nway.
flu.. fever.. headache.. bloated-condition.. unable to breathe well.. n blabla.

woke up this morning,
things seemed to get worse, y?
suddenly a person's name just cross me mind.
the name dat i tried so damn hard to forget it,.. to stay away..
all i want is just the frenship that we had once shared.. mere frenship.
for i know very well, it is deadly impossible for things to go back to its old place.

so please.. please..
my dear weird-and-unwanted-feelings,
get out of my comfort zone.

"sometimes, i do feel that Alzheimer also has its benefit,
it will help me to get rid of those memories"............... sigh.

my revealed stories.. ;) sOoo bongok2 je..

since i've nothing to do tonite,.. my mind mule la bekeliaran, mengimbau kembali kesah2 lame sepanjang ak bergelar 'single' for 4 years ;) ......................winkwink*

in this 4 years, i got to know lots of guys nway.but they r all... haha. i've no words to describe them. skali pk mcm lawak, skali pk mcm agak kurang bijak pon ade gak.bukan saje nk main tuduh2, but
...erm,ok let me stori-mori here,

1. A guy i knew from TESL camp-during 2nd year foundation
kitorng start close tym treasure hunt actvt.he managed to get my num from a fren of mine from other college.so.. ade la contact2 sket.bg ak we r fren ONLY.there was a day he did the confession, the proposal la i mean. well,i used to share this story with my deskmate at that tym for she also knew him.n guess wut??? he did the same thing, the confession n proposal, to her n also to my other coursemate at the same time. kalo ye pon saudara ni player, bia la berpada2. 3 org skali, dh la ketiga2nya coursemate yg close. skali ingat,lawak plak mamat nih.. nk sapu ramai2 pon,cr la yg college berlainan.ni siap deskmate ak sndiri plak tu. thank God,ak mmg xske die dr awal.

2. A guy i knew when i worked at a pharmacy in PJ
he was a supervisor at Famos Amos.erm, ok la.. not bad looking.but he was at the same age with my sis, so definitely wont be my special. he was kind to me, slalu bg cookies free.. cake free.. a good brother,i called. but people around used to call-us-as-an-item.so he did act like one.but one day, konon2nye nk sorok dr aku la, dating with other girl bwh escalator dowh..!ble ak tenampak je, buat2 tutop muke konon tgh garu2 kt muke la.. nk cover,xnak bg ak nmpak. haha. garu la bang ye, garu2.. garu smpai tecabut kulit muke tu.

3. A guy i knew from a social networking
i never beliv people i knew from this online thingy.but since he was a fren of my fren, so i put some trust on him at first.n we got to be fren n close n closer by time.noted, we r fren.. not more than dat.. its not dat easy to get into other stage [thank God for dat]. since ak knal die, byk sgt sms2 yg die tesalah send kt hp ak.tp i keep silent, .. antaranya yg masih ak ingat,
~ hai, yati.. dh makan blom ne? abg rindu la...
~alala, jgn la cmni.abg syg shila tau...
~dah2, jgn cedey2 lg.. abg syg wati sgt. muahxx...
haha.lawak siOt mamat nih.there was once ak tnya die, sape 'yati" tu? n jawapan die..
"ow,sori2.. nk tulis name sheni td,tp tesalah tulis yati"
haha, bapak penipu la! jaoh bebenor name yati ngan sheni tuh..
dah la sume sms yg tesalah tu,jijik2 belaka.. bagus gak sume tu tak ditujukan untk aku.

4. An unknown guy who suddenly add my ym
ramai je yg tidak dikenali, but this one is the most interesting. haha!
ym nye begini:
.......................................[hanya part yg mahu dihighligt je disiarkan disini].........
die: sy xleh la tgk muke awk.
ak : huh? knape??
die:muke awk same sgt dgn org yg plg sy syg [gf].. tp skang sy dh xde die.
ak :owh.. same sgt ke? muke je same, tp org lain2. awk dh xde die??
die: aah, die dh pergi buat selamanya awk.. sy sdih sgt.
ak :sori2.. sy ingatkan die tinggalkan awk.huhu.. xpela, nk wat cmne.. doakan die~
die:sbb tu sy xleh tgk muke awk kt fb.sy jd ingat kt die.bleh x awk jd pengganti die?
ak : kte kwn2 la ye.. [serba salah aku plak aku]

esoknye..
ak : buzz!
die:hai, erm.. sape erk ni?
ak :ntah la, saje je main buzz2..
die: siyes la. maaf sgt kalo sy lupe sape awk.tp sy btol2 xtau. sape ye?

haha.smlm bukan main ckp muke ak mcm arwah awek, tetbe esoknye dh xknal aku.kantoi menipu kering2! kalo btol la aku mcm muke arwah aweknye, significant gile kot.. xkan dh lupe.
p/s:kepada rakan2 ku, jejaka ini dikenali sbg 'hOOoliau!' dikalangan kite.korang pon ade fb die.

ramai lg manusia2 yg ak pnah knal n berperangai aneh2 ni.
tp penat la nk taip pjg2.
tgk la,kalo rajin, ade la sambungannye.
kalo malas, xde la jawapnye. :)

saje-saje

gambar hanya sekadar hiasan.
[bajet menarik je muke aku,nk jadikan hiasan.haha]

xtau nk tulis ape..
tp rs nk update gak blog ni, sbb bosan n have nothing to do.

life skang,
not bad la.. dh xterasa sgt kebosannye
sbb ak dh jumpe 1 hobi br yg bleh la dianggap berfaedah..
'manjahit manik n berlian pada pakaian sendiri mahupun dijual'.tp sendiri nye br 1 je yg dh bejaya,
ak ske buat je, sndiri pkai xminat sgt.

erm, since long hols ni gak
ak dh start memegang kuali dan periuk..
'memegang'? well, indirectly .. nk ckp ak dh start try2 masak la.
so far, ade la a few yg dah ok..
[feel so proud, sbb b4 this goreng telur pon xbrape nk lulus sgt]haha. dasyat gle pompuan.ish3.

ak gak,
menjadi seorang peniaga yg berjaya
yela, everyday ak je yg jaga kadai mama.
byk gak la improve communication skills ngan makcik2 ni..
senang la nt nk sembang2 ngn bakal mak mertua.haha!
[ish2,sharini ni.. kecik2 lg dah gatal]

erm, ape lg erk..

kalo bad things plak,
cuti2 ni sgt susah nk mendapat bekalan alat kecantikan.
moisturizerku sudah out of supply la..
hanya mengharapkan jasa baik kakakku untuk mengepos bekalan baru dr ibukota.

finally i put the needle down.. n called it 'finish!'

in less than 24hours, i managed to finish my-first-handmade-bead embroidery.at first i thought of doing something heavy, i mean heavy embroidery..like a dress of a bride on their big day. but, with mom's advice..
i decided to make a simple one, so dat it is acceptable to go to any occasion.

bak kata mama,
"xyah la byk2 sgt.. nt nmpak mcm org tua.
youngers kne pkai yg simple2 je.." - yeah,i agree with it.

so, this what i managed to do on my dress..

white+apple green

s.I.m.p.L.e je~

while still in progress

finished!

well, its not dat great,
but ok la for the first timer like me,kan?
;)

oOps, someone asked me for credits!


so,here it goes;
to eyzey daleyla, tengkiu la banyok2 atas "sokongan padu" mu ye.
"bunga-bunga cinta"?? "bunga-bunga sakura"??
Oooowh.. ak maseh xleh menerima kenyataan itu.
omputih kato, 'culture shock' gitu. haha.

... wait,k!

nothing much to say,
just,
um..... im doing something very contrast,
i mean, sgt contra dgn my characteristics.. :)

guess wut????

im creating a kind of bead embroidery on my dress!
make it looks like a wedding dress,maybe.. haha.
ntah cmne ak tetibak plak minat bendalah cmni.. kalo dulu, sluar koyak pon mcna yg jahitkan. haha!


so, wait for next entry..
i'll show my first-handmade-bead embroidery! auwW..

[feelin so feminin.. ahakx!]